I don't want to associate with Vegans

This is controversial, but I'm going to talk about it. 

Why are most of the vegans on the internet so fucking vile? In the past week I have unwittingly, bumped into the most heinous of vegans whose hatred of humans with a difference of opinion has blinded them to even having the slightest bit of rational thought. Drones is what they seem  like, going along with whatever vegan leader that the rest are supporting, without even listening to what these  "leaders" are saying.  Going along with whatever rude tactic they have allowed themselves to be brainwashed into using in order to get people to get others to gravitate toward veganism. But where is the logic in not giving a fuck about humans, but really caring about animals? And if you are using the " I'm doing it to save the planet" Then what about the people on the planet? In what Universe  does it actually work to bully, badger, degrade, and hurt, to get someone to see that your way of living is the correct way? I would be scared shitless if I came across these angry Vegans, and if I weren't already Vegan, I wouldn't care to know what the lifestyle promotes, because the people that represent that lifestyle, were horrid.



Here is one example of many, 
I posted: "Right On. Your logic is spot on" underneath a YouTube video " Why Onision is not Vegan" Because his reasons are valid, and rational, and there is always room to become vegan at some point. Not everyone wants to, or can give up something that they are use to, or possibly addicted to, even with the extremely valid bonuses of veganism.

Then, I get a response from a dude named "Rad" ( I left all of his typos)

Who wrote: No it's not, if you think it is you are just as retarded as him;

Dairying; involves raping and killing cows as well as separating them from their mothers.
Eggs; 99% of chickens in the world are kept in battery cages for their whole life and can't even move their wings. This is a case of two morons wanting to appear morally superior without actually making any effort to do so.

I responded with: 

Seriously. Like Dude, I can think whatever I want, He can think whatever he wants, I think he makes a good case for someone who isn't vegan. Perhaps maybe they might transition better. Lame attitudes are a turn off,to the movement, and If I weren't a vegan and read your comment I would think. Maybe, Vegans are unnecessarily harsh, and cruel. By the way, I'm a vegan of six years. You don't even know me and you call me a moron. Your an awesome person aren't you.

He then said: 

 "I can think whatever I want", oh so is me criticising your stupid comment hindering that? I don't think so. Crazy as it is, I don't control your thoughts. So jump off the defence. No one is trying to mind control you.

"Perhaps maybe they might transition", of course there is nothing wrong with wanting to slowly transition, as long as you have the motivation actually go through with a transition and not stay complacent eating dairy and eggs.

"Maybe, Vegans are unnecessarily harsh, and cruel. "

Besides the fact that I don't claim to be the face of veganism or represent vegans as a whole, me calling you a "moron" is nothing in the face of what animals are subjected to on farms. Needlessly cruel is consuming dairy and eggs. If someone is not going to go vegan because I offend them they do not care enough to ever go vegan, so moot point.Also, well done on your veganism. But it's not going to make me think that this video is any less retarded than it is :)

I responded:

 Ok. I hope your happy, because I'm still happy. You just keep being who you are ok. Awesome.

He wrote: 

Thanks for telling me that your happy, I was worried that you weren't <3

I responded: Ok. Awesome person.The name Rad suits you

Then he wrote: Lol, you're so mad. You're like 50, get off the internet if you're so utterly fucking hypersensitive.

I Responded with: 

Ok, Thank you Rad..;).you are the coolest. The internet is only made for people like you. I get it. Awesome.

Who carries around statics about the cruelty of chickens? He is so cut throat when he doesn't know that I'm Vegan, he calls me retarded, a moron, and he says I have a morally superior attitude. Then after I respond to him about his lack of knowledge about me, and how he called me retarded for agreeing with someone whose views are different, he then says I'm on the defense for being offended, and it's OK to do that because " the animals" have endured suffering.

He felt the need to be morally superior, like a lot of vegans do. They think they are better than someone who eating meat? Dude, there are  a lot of amazing people in the world who eat meat, and just because they do, I wouldn't shun them or make them feel a horrible person.That is not what the vegan lifestyle represents for me. I think that half of the vegan movement is filled with a lot of people who just want to separate themselves from others, so they can have an excuse to bully or look down at, or just be angry at " People" in general. So I will continue to practice Veganism, and I will continue do my part in the world to help make it a better place, but I will never associate myself with the group of " Angry Extremist Vegans"that I encountered over the past week. 

 There should be a new term in place for people who actually practice veganism, but they refuse to call themselves Vegans for the stigma that surrounds Vegans. You know that

 " Crazy" that stigma. I should call it "Closet Vegan"

So fuck these angry close-minded vegans. Fuck their logic ,their body shaming, ideology, and tactics. Fuck their attitudes, and their lack of concern for the value of human well being. Fuck their elitist attitudes. Fuck their need to be morally superior. Fuck them.

To Lie. To Bully. To Judge.

My sister recently had an art show at one of our hometown coffee-shop/galleries. When we were thinking about venues I thought that the one we chose would be a safe one, considering the scandal that I was involved in seven years ago. The problem is that although I thought that the owner of the shop (who I sort of knew, having been invited to a party,at her house and having brief conversations with her from time to time while getting my coffee) was neutral to the scandal. She was not. She gave me all of her stoic glory, her magic dead eyes, and stern disposition, even after many years.

The scandal involved my ex best friend, and myself being involved in a fray that was initiated by her. It's something that I never got over, because fighting was something that was so foreign to me. But it happened all because she wouldn't let me go.

Our friendship was over, she was in a relationship, I found other friends, and we just didn't hang out anymore. And it really wasn't the fact that she was in a relationship that skewed our bond. It was that she started to treat me differently, like in a super negative uncomfortable way, and she did it a lot around other people especially.

The last straw I think, was when she yelled at me over the phone for having a disagreement with her about Radioheads documentary "Meeting People is easy" I rented it because I am a Radiohead fanatic, she on the other hand could have cared less about Radiohead because I think that she considered them "Too mainstream". The argument ensued because of our two opposing views. There is a point in the film were Thom Yorke says that he could care less about stardom and the perks of being famous. And he also said that he could care less that Tom Cruise made a special trip to see one of there shows. My point of contention was that throughout the entire documentary, Thom seemed kind of like, a parody of a really self important famous person. Also, if he didn't care about Tom Cruise then why did he allow Tom Cruise to use two of Radioheads songs in " Vanilla Sky" a movie that Tom Cruise both starred in and produced. At first it seemed like we were having a normal conversation because she perked up at the thought of Thom Yorke being anti- superstar. She was like "Fuck Tom Cruise" But when I tried to bring of my points of contention, she shrieked through to the phone.
 "Let Me Make My Point!" I remember looking at the phone and holding my breath. I was so stunned that she was so bothered, that I meekly responded with an "Ok." When we hung up I decided that it was over. There was nothing else that I could take.

For many weeks I avoided her, like seriously, ducking, running. Until I realized that I needed a dress that I lent her back. Usually I wouldn't have cared about clothing. but, this dress was particularly expensive, and it was pretty fabulous. I sent her a text asking about it, and she replied asking for her book that she lent me.

Instead of meeting at a coffee shop, like I wanted, she suggested that we meet at her house, I didn't want to. She said that she could come by my house, and I told her that I would be unavailable, So she said that she would leave it with my neighbors. Unfortunately, she called me, and said that I was scared to meet her. I guess she was aware that I was avoiding her. I told her to drop off the goods. I stayed put where I was for an hour. But, I wound up, catching her when she appeared with the crumbled Kroger bag containing my dress. She asked me to step outside, so that she could talk to me, the neighbors left us alone, I remember she looked at the door when it closed. We both did. We said horrible things to each other. But it was when I  told her that she should win an Oscar for best actress that she lost it, and pulled my hair, she completely snatched me backward, and I just hung there, for what seemed like an hour. It was like my life flashed before my eyes or something. But instead I was seeing our friendship. From the laughter, to the serious conversations, to the comfort, and apple pie. All in a flash, all was lost.

I remember that I wanted her to be off of me, I wanted it to be over, and I remember that I couldn't feel, anything. When the neighbors broke it up, I was ushered in, and told that she was bleeding, I however remained. untouched, except for the crochet hat I was wearing, it was a goner. I was told that she was filing a police report, so I filed on also. I was later told that she needed plastic surgery because I ripped her earring out, leaving her with a split ear. She also told everybody several blatant lies, that I jumped out of the bushes and beat her up. That I went crazy, and beat her up. That I attacked her. She also was getting a kick out of being the center of attention, and telling people that I was going to Jail. I was told that she was making jokes about it frequently.


I couldn't believe it, but, that happened.She even took it to trial, issuing a warrant for my arrest for first degree assault, in which a sheriff actually served me. I was booked, and fingerprinted. Which she bragged about to various people in our social circle. People began to shun me, approach me make comments about how I was going to jail, sneer at me talk about me in low voices when I entered an establishment. Laugh at me when I walked by. I even acquired a nickname, which is just to horrible for me to write about (it was racist)  And I didn't do any of the things that she accused me of. All I did was defend myself, and I didn't even know what I was doing, when I was doing that.

When we went to court, She lost, because both my lawyer, and the judge asked her questions that she cracked under. I guess, It was hard for her to get asked logical questions,under the guise of a big lie.
I don't know how she explained her loss to everyone, because I sank into a deep depression, I wanted to end it (I wanted to die). I stopped talking to everyone. I couldn't tell who was on my side or not. I don't know if that was the right thing to do. I don't know if my silence helped me. I guess it didn't from the way the owner of the coffee shop acted.

My life completely changed after that, I know that to this day, I still have flashes of the way she looked when she snatched my head backward, how I hung there suspended, and how I nearly let the lies, and false judgments of other people ruin my life force.

Sometimes people lie, and sometimes there is no instant justice. Maybe one day people will know what really happened. There is of course more to this story, because when is anything cut and dry and short and simple.

The Rules for going out in public

White Lung Covers Guns N Roses Review/Opinion & More

My Right Foot

                                                           This Is My Right Foot

 This tattoo is about ten years old, and I got it after a really horrible relationship fail (Break-up).

 At the time I was dating someone who was in a band, we dated for a year, and a couple of months.  He toured quite a lot, he was hardly ever there really but, I thought that this set- up was really romantic. I am a lover of music, I also play music, so I think that it only made sense that I would have admired his talent, will, and determination, those are all admirable traits. It was only after his bands first European tour that he came back, different. He said things to me like, "I didn't see any Hommies." Hommies meaning black people. When he said this, I remember looking at him, kind of squishing my face and saying something like, "Hommies?" "Really?" In all of Europe he didn't see one black person.  I knew it was a lie, and I wondered why he was saying this to me,while realizing this.

We never really talked about race in that way, I never even thought about it, but, apparently he was. He wound up cheating on me, and breaking up with me, and it was later that I found out that he had a problem with I guess being labeled "The Southern Godfather Of Sludge Metal" while, dating me. I was later told be the former drummer that he hated walking into the grocery store with me, because he couldn't stand the stares of people. Maybe people were staring because he was so much taller than me. Why did it have to be because we were different races?

My resolution to the problem was that it was only his perspective that clouded how he thought the world was perceiving him. I never thought of it that way, my experience was completely different. I thought that people looked at us like we were different in an interesting way, not because we were aesthetically opposite.

There is of course more to the story, about"the girl" who he cheated on me with. About that night when I knew that he was going to " do something shady" with "the girl". How "the girl" stalked me. Without going on, he wound up staying with "the girl", they are still together, I think.. Isn't that funny?

Like everyone who experiences heartbreak, or betrayal or both, it feels like open soul wounds, that throb, and burn and sting. It was really after dating him, that I literally stopped dating. I just could never get into it again. It wasn't like unrequited love loss or anything, it was like, I just don't want to do it.





My tattoo artist used metallic ink, and the flower is a make believe one; It is a combination of my favorite flowers a lily and orchid, and a begonia. When I decided to get this tattoo it was because I knew that I faced an ending, and I wanted something externally that showed what was happening inside me. Raw like a wound.  That is what tattoos represent for me, the process of pain, blood, burning, rest, and nurturing, and in the end you actually get something really cool out of it, you get the stain of a memory, the etching. I really wanted to remember, as painful as it was, and every time I look at my foot it reminds me of that period, and how I healed my way out of it.

 Has anyone else been blinded sided with their partners personality dark-side? I swear this is the stuff indie movies are made from. Am I right?

The Summer Skin Booster Smoothie

               I was feeling a little Minimalist 90's summer grunge

American Apparel Sundress & Grungy Black Lace-up boots

And with the heat and the sunshine the awareness of the health of my skin appeared in my mind. But to be fair and honest when aren't I concerned with my skin. It's all over me right? It's a huge organ, and it needs to be loved.

Thinking

 My skin has changed so much in the past years, and while I do believe in applying topical agents to heal, nourish and replenish the skin, there is nothing like healing, and glowing from the inside out. The best way I have found to do this is through fruits and of course The Veg. But today I was focused on the power of the delicious Vitamin C laden, energy boosting fruit. I just want to glow like J-lo from the block, without using a bronzer. I want to look like a beacon of light, like an orb. Like whoa you can see her coming from miles away she looks so radiant. You know what I mean?

For this Smoothie you will need these 5 simple and tasty ingredients 

Excitement

1. 1/2 Spotted Banana ( Making sure that the banana is ripened (spotted) is better for digestion
2. 1 Cup of Vanilla almond Milk or Vanilla soy Milk
3. 6 Strawberries
4. 4 chunks of Pineapple ( medium sized chunks)
5. 2 cups Blueberries                                   

Throw everything into a blender, and blend away, but as a warning to much blending can cause the ingredients to froth, and that might make you sad. Ice is optional or you can freeze the Banana to make the smoothie of a creamer consistency .

Delicious  Skin Love  

So there we have it, Blueberries bursting with antioxidants (every time I hear the word antioxidant I think anti-aging and I'm all over it, and I will at least try it for better or worse. Fortunately I happen to like the taste of most fruit.) Strawberries and Pineapple for the extra Vitamin C Punch. Banana for Potassium to regulate fluid retention in the body,and almond milk for an extra boost of B vitamins, vitamin E , and vitamin D. Almond milk just tastes better in my opinion you know.


Every time I drink this smoothie, the very next day I always look brighter, and my skin looks happy. I would recommend this to anyone of any age.

                                                            Give it a Try, & bye for now   
 

The Big "R" That stands for Rejection

                                                              It's raining today

The Forest of Rain

I started thinking about disappointment, and rejection. There are things that you have to be prepared for. And when they happen, it is literally how you choose to look at it that makes the difference.

My left Hand

On a whim last week, I decided to apply for a job at this clothing store, as a stylist. I figured that it would be a nice change to my daily habits, a good way to meet people, and a good way to be around my favorite environment, clothing. I was like, yeah, I've got this, I've got style, I have experience (I was store manager at a vintage clothing store for two years) I have a good attitude, I'm literally in love with the clothing brand itself, and I'm intelligent. Cool. Right? No.

The Closet of Destiny

I walk in there, and immediately I'm stricken with a whoosh of overwhelming snootiness. But I shook it off because, I thought maybe it was my own perception that might have been veiling reality. I felt like I was being watched, as I approached the back counter to inquire about the manager that I was to interview with. While walking, there was a girl who drifted pass me slowly and echoed a sallow "Hi". Behind the register counter there was a girl picking up boxes, she had to be the manager, I approached her, and she asked if I was here for the interviews. I felt slightly better.

 She asked me to pick out an outfit that would best represent the brands style. When she said this, I was totally excited because this was my element. I perused the store, and picked out a strapless blue printed romper, with a rose gold & silver arm band, a gold choker necklace, a pair of gold trimmed aviator sunglasses, and some strappy wedged boots. The reason I picked out the boots was only because they were lacking in a substantial selection of footwear. I was at a loss on that, but there was no way that I was going to pair that cute outfit with a pair of Birkenstocks. I explained my outfit to her, then she asked me to step outside.

Now here is where it gets slightly silly. She began to ask me questions whose answers had to be fashioned out of the regurgitated nature, so I decided to answer them in my own way, to offer a fresh approach, a new perspective, which is what I would think that a company would look for. It was hot that day, I was melting, and while I was answering the questions, I actually caught my interviewer, looking off into the distance. She also asked me what hours I was looking for, I said 20, she was like, "Yeah, it's actually going to be more like 8 to 12". That really didn't bother me until she said that it was a temporary position, because many of the other girls were off for vacation. That little tid-bit was not on the description of the job.

 I was ushered back inside, and she told me that the store manager and the visual manager wanted to also ask me questions. I walked back into the tapestry curtained, slightly closed, dressing room with two large cushioned benches situated across from one another. Large mirrors behind them on opposing walls. Both of the managers were there sitting next to each other, and one of them had been the girl who gave me the dead look and the long slow " Hi". They stared at me with faces as stone cold as a painting from the Baroque and Rococo period. I do believe in professionalism, but, I just don't think that these people seemed very nice, or happy, or bright, or alive. They were giving off the exact opposite of what the brand that they represented is.

I sat through their questions answering each one with what I thought were really good answers, and then they asked me about Loss Prevention (theft) but, it was in a way that I didn't particularly like. After that, the little dressing room was silent, and it was I who ended the interview with a " well, this was nice."after soaking in their blank and vacant stares .

This is what their expressions looked like

The funny thing is that I left that interview feeling fearless, I didn't sweat, I wasn't intimidated by their looks or their disposition. Because how they were acting, said more about them, than me. They were rejecting me to my face, and I still was unshaken. To be fair to myself, honestly I wouldn't have wanted to put myself in an environment where I would have to look at icy cold faces all day. So in that respect rejection can be a good thing, depending on how you choose to look at it. I give myself a pass.

Pass

Somewhere In Between

I will be the first to admit that this isn't what I thought 37 would look like. In my 20's I thought that I would be married, and perhaps have at least one child. I would have some sort of lucritive career doing something awesome( In my 20's I didn't know what that was but, it would be awesome). Maybe I would even look as though age had grazed me, and I would be wistful about how I used to look. However, I would be so utterly happy with my family, and the state of my life that I wouldn't care that much.

This is not the case.

I'm not married, I still have no idea what that awesome career is, but on the bright side, I don't look like age has grazed me. I actually like the way that I look now more so than in my 20's. I did manage to make an effort to do that. No meat, No dairy, lots of water, No alcohol, No late Nights, No social life(sometimes that equals less stress) hot yoga, lots of walking, a bit of running, fruit smoothies, lots of greens, all of that energy that would be put into raising a family, and busting my buns working for someone else I put into myself. That is something I think I can be proud of. I suppose I have no other
choice but to be proud of that, or I would be sad.

I do feel like I'm in limbo. Like, what are you supposed to wear when you are almost 40? I still want my wear my combat boots, I still like grungy sundresses, I still like crop tops, tube tops, and bandeau tops. Social structures would have you think that by a certain time in your life it literally supposed to be and look like (XYZ) and that when your not like (XYZ) then something is awry. To be honest I felt like this, and sometimes I still do feel like this. But why waste my time here on planet earth worrying about society? I have to live, and wear my crop tops.

I have said my peice special ladies, Are you " In Limbo" Like the radiohead song?